Nicollette's Word Vomit

October 4, 2023

Hello to everyone. I hope that your week is going well. We have made it halfway through this week and personally, I feel very accomplished. Check, Check, and Check. Do you ever think about the little things in life? The things that get lost in your busy lives? People keep saying that I am a strong woman and ask me how I am so happy after everything that I have been through. I never know how to answer that question except with an answer about self-love and that I have been working on myself for a long time. I was sitting here thinking after being asked that question again today. Personally, taking the time to enjoy the little things and rewarding myself for accomplishments as small as remembering to remember. 

The master of memory and speed reader, Jim Kwik, says that rewarding yourself for the small things will change your thinking to be more positive. The reason for this is that the brain releases endorphins when you reward yourself, just like when you are happy, when you exercise, or even having some chocolate does. 

I say, enjoy the little things in life so that the great things will be greater. In my experience, this is true. For example, when setting a goal, I reward myself for each step closer to that goal. This in turn makes me Want to reach the goal, then when I do, the feeling is incredible. It doesn't matter what I am doing, I take the time to be proud of what I have accomplished and it makes me anticipate the next reward. I am not saying that it is a perfect way to get your brain to see the brighter side of things but I will say that this works for me and I will continue to enjoy the little things in life.

Along with enjoying the little things, self-love will also have your brain thinking more positively. Being able to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself honestly that you love you is not only good for you to hear but it is good for your mind and your soul. People who truly love themselves, in general, are happier and they attract positive and happy people. I recently read an article that was talking about how we look at the world and see it, is what our lives will be. So, if we look at the world as if it is full of mean, hateful, selfish people then that is what our lives will be. Now, if we look at it as if the world is peaceful and full of love, then that's what our lives will be. I am not sure how I feel about that but I think whoever wrote that was/is onto something.

 I do not watch tv so I never know what is going on outside of my world. I have had multiple people  tell me that I should but I am quite content in my little world, being the crazy happy chik. I try my best to stay positive and so far it is working. I call myself the crazy happy lady, which is so true, because my manic days outweigh my depressed days when taking my mental health meds as directed.

With that being said, I am going to say Goodnight because it is time to get some sleep in order to start tomorrow rested and ready to go.

Nicollette Renee's Word Vomit for September 24, 2023

 Nicollette Renee's Word Vomit

for September 24, 2023

Hey Y'all! Tonight I would like to share my thoughts on Relationships. I am not just talking intimate relationships with a partner but relationships in all areas of life such as siblings, parents, friends, co-workers, etc. I am no expert on the subject but I am an extremely emotional person who cares very deeply for those around me (those I let in my bubble).

In the past few years, I have been doing some soul searching and I have found that I am truly a good persona and people like the person I really am. I was told otherwise and believed it for so long that I stopped communicating with others and I gave up on making friends. Growing up, my family was, what seemed to me, close and we loved each other and others could tell. As a teenager, that all went away and we became separate and disengaged as a family. 

What I am rambling about is that in this life, I have 8 siblings and 9 aunts and uncles just on my dad's side, along with a huge amount of cousins and their children. It is hard to sit here and think, I do not know anything about them. The realization of this came when I moved back here to Indiana from Pennsylvania this past September. We moved to Pennsylvania in June of 1999. Each move was difficult emotionally and were have-to moves, each leaving people behind who I was close with. I am not very good at starting conversations or going places to meet people even. Every time I have to start over, it takes more time to find the want-to in order to make friends so I am not always alone.

Being an adult, makes things harder in a sense. I hesitate to make friends because it hurts to lose them. When it comes to reaching out to family, everyone has their own lives and have moved far enough away that is hard to get together. Not only that, because of the opinions of those whom I do get to see, I am not sure who I should and should not reach out to.

I had no choice but to move and leave my children in Pennsylvania in order to get myself of solid ground so I can return to them later, solid and steady. My children are my Life! They are what motivates to me to keep going on the path that I am because I am doing well and having support from those who love me is an Amazing feeling.

I work at a small business whose owners are also my bosses. They want us to feel like family and treat us like we are family, not employees. This is a wonderful thing to have because it makes it easier to get up and go to work every morning. Going into work and being able to have conversations with them, knowing that they are actually interested in hearing my answer to their "How was your weekend" question and for them to openly talk about their lives really does make us feel like family.

Moving around a lot as a child and then becoming the 'bad child' has made building relationships hard for me. I am either waiting for someone to turn their back on my or for something to happen that keeps us from being able to see or talk to each other. I am learning that I need to just go day by day but always show those who I have any type of relationship how much I value them. There are only a few people here (those I get to see all the time) that I consider my friend and I met each of them at the place I work and couldn't be more grateful.  

I could keep going on and on but my tired brain is starting to derail and the rambling will start to not make sense. I will do my best to post tomorrow. I hope y'all have a good rest of your night.

Start Strong tomorrow.... Optimism and Positivity is the best way to start Monday.

Nicollette Renee's Word Vomit for September 19, 2023

 Nicollette Renee's Word Vomit

for September 19, 2023

To be honest with you, I am not very motivated this morning. I feel like I did not sleep well but I have only been awake for a few moments so maybe I'm just still sleeping. I am determined to make this part of my morning routine before work.

A huge Thank You For Your Support!, to those who have been to my page and gave it a like. I truly appreciate each one of you. When it comes to appreciation, myself and others (perhaps yourself) have noticed that there isn't much of that being given these days. I don't think I have heard someone say 'thank you' outside of work in forever it seems. What happened to the world? The Black Eyed Peas sing it best in their 'Where is the Love' track. They talk about racism, terrorism, and even how the government sweeps things under the rug without explaining these things to us, The American People. We The People, are what is supposed to be protected by the government and we are supposed to have the freedom of speech but the government has taken so many of our Constitutional Rights and put a cap on them just tight enough that they "are not denying us of our rights" per say but we have to fight to have what the Constitution gives us as kind of a guideline to keep the nation in a stable state. If you have ever heard the song, you will know that they make some valid points and when I heard it for the first time, I had to listen to it again because I wasn't actively listening but heard enough that I wanted to listen to what they were singing about. And, I have to agree 100% with the lyrics. I love to sing this song, especially when there are people around who need to hear that message. It is an incredible message put out into the universe along with so many others. Seems to me like hatred, greed, and other characteristics of the unhappy has been spreading and I am not okay with this. I was taught, as I taught my children as well, that the Golden Rule is so very important. It is the King of Morals. This is my opinion, of course, but I truly believe that if we treated each other as we want other to treat us, we would be a happier nation and maybe even World. 

I don't know about any of y'all but it bothers me to hear people talk to each other with attitudes, say mean things out of spite, call each other names, you know.... People being mean and hateful to others. I observe people and I have noticed that this is becoming more and more noticeable. Going to the grocery store anymore is stressful because it seems like there is always someone grumbling or causing a fuss over something. There was a meme that said "The World be a Happier Place if those fires in Canada were Weed Field instead of Trees". I read this meme and said out loud, "Absolutely It Would Be".  The reason I agree is because marijuana is a relaxant, it usually mellows people out when ingested, which usually ends up causing people to be nicer to one another and smile more.  Although, there are some people who cannot handle marijuana for many different reason, none of those reasons are because they become mean or hateful when Weed High. With this being said, I think it is a great idea to legalize marijuana in all states. I believe that there are only a handful of states where they have not legalized it. In Pennsylvania, you have to have a medical card to be legal and in Illinois, it's legal recreationally with other states having similar laws. I feel that the country benefits from the taxes incurred from the legal sales of marijuana. Now, I am not saying that all drugs should be legal but marijuana is one that stand behind no matter what. I know that the marijuana plant can be separated to make different products such as Hemp, CBD, and Flower.  It also helps so many people with things like pain relief, anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks, along with a long list of others. My hope is that the states, like Indiana, adopt the legalization of marijuana so that any person willing to try natural medicinal treatments can do so. From talking with people and reading up on this subject, I have found that many people are able to stop taking man-made medicine once their doctor approved them starting marijuana or equivalent, which I think is a Huge Deal for those dependent on medicine. 

Thank you for reading again today. I'll be back tomorrow morning. Have a Great Tuesday Y'all!

Nicollette Renee’s Word Vomit for September 18, 2023

 Nicollette Renee’s Word Vomit

 for September 18, 2023

I have no reason to tell stories that are untrue. I am not getting anything from writing this blog, I am just starting this blog from which is a representation of my feelings written on paper as what i call “Word Vomit”. My hopes are to help at least one person a day overcome their struggles, past or present.  which has been in the making for a very long time. I just never knew how easily my words have been accepted and how many people like reading what I write or listening to what I have to say. I hope that people can feel what I am saying because it all comes from the soul. So, in a sense, I am exposing my soul to y’all.n I value the fact that I am self aware enough to recognize my faults and blessings. We all have them, we just need to find ourselves within them, embrace our flaws because they are ours and they are only flaws because we say they are. The blessings I speak of are, for me, my ability to keep smiling after all the pain and trauma I’ve endured; the ability to spread happiness and to teach my children that even after dark days, this Sunflower never fell. She is still standing tall, always looking to the sky for the sun to shine through the clouds. When this does happen, this sun shines so bright that it blinds anyone trying to block my sun or dim the shine that comes from within my Crazy-Happy Soul! I have come to the conclusion that I cannot appreciate the Beautiful, Sunkissed Days that bring me happiness and fresh, warm air, into my soul which ignites a fire inside of me, Heart and Soul. Maybe my thoughts on paper can help someone dealing with today, yesterday or something that they are holding on to and cannot let or get past. Maybe you can’t explain what you are feeling or what word you want to use, sometimes just giving yourself a break, write down what you're thinking as you are thinking of it. Even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone, even yourself until finished with your thoughts and those thoughts being read and interpreted as you see them. It’s all you and your thoughts and feelings. No one can tell you that your thoughts, opinions,or  any other type of self communication within yourself is wrong. Yes, I will say, I do think that self-love is hard and it takes so much energy to hate, that if you do not love yourself, you are wasting so much energy not loving yourself (this causes depression, anxiety around others, judgment or fear of, a lack of trying, listening to others opinions of you, which is not anything you should care about to overcome you and this eventually can lead me, for sure myself, into an area of darkness that makes you believe it when someone says that I am not good enough, pretty enough, and even when I am “failing’ at something that I need to master, I have practicing acceptance which is important in order to not backslide or forget who we are and what our purpose is. I have given myself kudos for surviving and not letting things keep me from who I really am. Pretending to be someone that we aren’t, for someone else, won’t be a good feeling for long. If you feel like you are moving away from yourself to make someone else happy ( this includes changing who you are, how you dress, talk, who your friends are, ect…. If you are changing to appease someone else, you are not being true to yourself which means you are letting your “love” for someone or the words that they say to you, change your self-love thinking from You being firstly important to you putting yourself on the sidelines or behind anything else, is unhealthy and moves you away from You. Letting this happen will put you back in darkness. You have to put you first before anyone or anything else or your self-worth (your feeling about yourself) will be much lower and you’ll back in a  “hole”. The “hole” in which we are; at least I am;  presently working to stay far away from so I do not slip and fall into said “hole” again, as long as I can help it!  Sometimes the experiences and thoughtful words of another human being is what we need to hear, even if we don’t “hear it” per say the first time the message is delivered. This is why I am writing this Blog. To Help myself get thoughts out on paper so that someone in need of reading them will do just that, read these words and take something that I said in this Blog and pass it on, learn something new, be inspired, gather some hope, pick your head up, walk with your head high, chin up buttercup, and seize the day. Carpe Diem. Life Can Only Be Understood Backwards but Must Be Lived Walking Forward! If we stop walking, life doesn’t stop too, so don’t stand in one place for too long or you may miss something you were looking for or waiting on. Standing still in this world is like standing still in the middle of a dancefloor. All things move (vibrating counts) when the music is playing… If you are standing there, and you can’t feel the beat or vibration of the music, are you really alive? Are you happy inside? Do you Love Yourself? If you answered No to any of these questions, I suggest you look long and hard to truly see yourself in the mirror and don’t stop checking that. It could take multiple times a day to really see yourself as you are and how HE sees you and Love Who You Are!… Until you have learned to truly love yourself, and not just say it, You Cannot Love and Cannot Be Loved by Another Person, not truly. Self-Love is the foundation for loving others as HE does. 

These are My Thoughts and Opinions, I will not be judged for my writings as I do not judge those around me. God says not to judge because the only person who decides what and who should be judged and how would be HIM! No one is better than another. We don't know and some of us do not care to know or learn anything about a person that is new to us or “unlike” us, whatever that may mean. We can only learn each other’s stories by sharing them with each other. This can be done in many ways like simply asking someone about themselves and actually care to listen to what they have to say. With cotton in our ears and our mouths flapping, we can learn nothing. Once we take that cotton out of our ears and stuff our mouths silent, our ears open up and we then can listen to what someone else has to say or we can empathize, sympathize, understand the way someone is by knowing their story. We should not listen to the hearsay out there in this world. All hearsay is, is someone’s belief of what they want to be true or just a story made up to cause issues for someone other than ourselves. Most people do not even care if what they are repeating is true If I believed everything I heard or acted on those hearsay stories, I would be worse off than ever. I also would be a tragedy, dead according to the reputation and exaggerations of my life, untruths spoken by those who never met me or had met me and never cared to get to know me as a person. To judge someone is not only immoral, judgment of others means you put yourself above others as though you are a better human being. This is NOT the case, judgment comes from those who think they and their ways are superior to others’. 

This in the end, is a terrible attribute to have because if you have room in your life to judge others then you are not paying enough attention in your own mirror! Those who judge do not see themselves as equal to others which in the end, is the Devil’s work and will collect his “followers” as God does on judgment day, as Heaven and Hell goes through your sins at the time of entering the afterlife, those who judged others will go to hell and live a life in a hell of judgment day after day for eternity. If you don’t want to be judged as hating others or  cynical, or self-centered, the “world revolves around me” type, then don’t judge others.

AGAIN, WE HAVE NO ROOM TO JUDGE EACH OTHER! WE EACH HAVE OUR OWN STORY AND ARE LOVED BY THE HOLY TRINITY NO MATTER WHAT OUR SINS AS LONG AS LOVE OURSELVES AND THY NEIGHBOR WITH GREAT INTENTIONS OF FRIENDSHIP AND LOVING FELLOWSHIP.